Enough with the “Penetration Fallacy”

FRUM FOLLIES by Yerachmiel Lopin

We have a serious problem when people say, “But it wasn’t rape,” or “Sexualizing a child without touching is creepy but not sexual abuse.” Creepy is practically a synonym for sexualizing.
Sex crimes should be seen from the point of view of harm to the victim/survivor, not in terms of the mechanics and body parts. There is what I call a “penetration fallacy” where the halachic and legal criteria of severity ignore the psycho-emotional harm.
Professionals report profound harm including suicides and overdose deaths because of sex abuse that did not involve penetration  of any sort. As long as the sexual dimension is apparent enough to make it creepy, it becomes possible for it to seriously harm a child. Not every child. Resilience varies. Some can come out pretty well from horrific things while others are deeply harmed by lesser things.
Even the law recognizes the victim’s perspective by considering…

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4 thoughts on “Enough with the “Penetration Fallacy”

  1. I dont understand why shouldnt the girl have the say in that she has the right to judge for herself if a boy is harrasing her or not,my 2 previous writers here are saying that she the female is so powerless that she cant even turn away from the boy if he starts talking to her and someone has to separate them be it the police or a shomrim member what kind of insanity is this kind of thinking

    • @pityu: you totally misunderstand, of course when a girl tells a boy he shouldn’t talk to her the boy has no right to talk to her, but here we are talking when the girl didnt tell him anything, and in some instances its even a third party that has a problem with it, such as a relative, or a shady lowlife (usually adulterer)who is doing god a favor by keeping the neighborhood holy…i dont understand what you are saying, why should one person have the right to take away the human rights of another person?

  2. the gender separation is totally enforced in ultra orthodox Jewish neighborhoods, the official position of the nypd is that if you approach a girl in boro park, or if you want to mingle a little, its deemed “harassment” because supposedly it makes the girl feel uncomfortable, so the sad reality is that you have adulterous scumbag shomrim members, taking away or attempting to take away violently the right of young men and women to mingle and to pursue happiness in life, and the cops turning a blind eye or actually helping them out in the dirty ways, anyway familiar with the facts on the ground would never ever doubt for a second that these authorities have anyone’s dignity in their mind, these guys are dirty dirty lowlifes, may hashem punish them

  3. this sick obsession of the some in the Jewish community and the antisemitic authorities with jewish personal lives, has led to some very sad realities on the ground in the ultra orthodox neighborhoods such as boro park, where the gender separation is regularly enforced, and authorities came to see innocent flirting and mingling as ‘harassment”, im aware of a few instances where cops told citizens they shouldn’t mingle with girls in boro park because quote “its harassment”, i do not think there exists a greater human rights violation than that, and its unfortunately practiced by the upscale members of the nypd with the help of their Jewish friends, if you think these people care about the dignity and respect of Jewish people and their children, you are sadly mistaken, they are haters plain and simple, may hashem punish them

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