From the Archives for Purim- New Insane Kosher Certifications – SATIRE, Introduction by LostMessiah

Kosher Toilet Paper, Kosher Contact Lenses, Kosher Oxygen Tanks, Kosher Toilet Bowl Cleaner…. It’s All About Fleecing an Ever More Innocent and Uneducated ultra-Orthodox Gullible Public of Money, Money and More Money

http://www.jewfaq.org/graphics/kashrut.gif

Widely accepted hekhshers
by LostMessiah, March 30, 2016

This article has 3 parts, the first our comments. The second is  is the absurdity of portions of Kashrut taken from the annuls to FrumFollies and “reblogged” using that feature within that article. The third is an explanation regarding the insanity of it all with a general explanation of  Kosher certification.

LostMessiah note:

Kosher Certification is big business, it can be used as blackmail, it can be used as a tool for control, it can be used to destroy a company, a restaurant, a hotel…. and yet, sometimes, it is simply incomprehensible.

What many people do not realize is that many Jews from Reform to Conservative to Modern Orthodox to Orthodox to ultra-Orthodox keep Kosher. The rules of kashrut are the same no matter who you are and if you keep to them, you do; if not, you don’t. The distinction, however, is if you believe that the rules give rise to the need for Kosher toilet paper, kosher oxygen masks, kosher diapers, etc.

Since the rules of Kashrut are dietary only, and since many of us have no plans to eat toilet paper or diapers, the need to purchase (at higher cost) kosher toilet paper is not only absurd but has no basis in the Kosher DIETARY LAWS. The amount of influence the Kashrut organizations have garnered by convincing the masses of over-zealous that they must certify their toilet paper, or diapers for example is about the money…. Are the rabbis within the greater Jewish community (generally referring to the ultra-Orthodox community)  being offered kickbacks for convincing their gullible  masses that somehow kosher laundry detergent is a must?

Moreover, that restaurants and organizations which do not comply with the rabbinical edicts of Kashrut to the extreme often get boycotted OR ARE NOT PROVIDED WITH A HEKHSHER..

This is a form of  financial control over the extremist masses who are compelled by rabbinic edict to abide by these ridiculous rules (unless of course toilet paper and diapers are on the dinner menu). And it can easily be used as a form of extortion of money from restaurants, companies, businesses and establishments, which are threatened with non-certification or boycott if they do not comply, even to the extent of purchasing kosher toilet paper..

Following the money, the winners appear to be the organizations providing the Hekshshers and the rabbis who demand absolute compliance.

 


From FrumFollies, reposted:

From the Archives for Purim- New Insane Kosher Certifications – SATIRE

OU Kosher Toilet Bowl Cleaner

Repost. First posted 3/29/15

Back in May 2014 I announced my Kosher Madness Contest on FaceBook

We now have kosher certifications on toilet paper, toilet bowl cleaner, and injectible life-saving medicines.

CHALLENGE: come up with the most absurd new terrain for a kosher certifying agency.

To read the article in it’s entirety click here:

For additional articles on Kashrut found in FrumFollies, see:

See Also:

  1. Parody/Satire: OU Announces Hasgochah on Cattle Prods and Duct Tape
  2. PARODY– SitWell Suppository for Hemorrhoids Receives OU Kosher Certification
  3. How Long Till They Have a Glatt Kosher Version of the Rx That Costs More?
  4. How To Succeed in Kosher Without Really Trying
  5. Starting in Kosher Certification (SATIRE)
  6. Agudah Announces Formation of OCHEL to Combat Kosher Fraud (Satire)

 


 

From http://www.jewfaq.org, Judaism 101, a simple understanding of the DIETARY LAWS of Kashrut:

Kashrut: Jewish Dietary Laws 
Kashrut (in Hebrew)

Level: Intermediate

• Kashrut is a set of biblical dietary restrictions
• Certain foods cannot be eaten
• Certain foods must be separated
• Certification makes it easier to identify kosher food

“Kashrut is the body of Jewish law dealing with what foods we can and cannot eat and how those foods must be prepared and eaten. “Kashrut” comes from the Hebrew root Kaf-Shin-Reish, meaning fit, proper or correct. It is the same root as the more commonly known word “kosher,” which describes food that meets these standards. The word “kosher” can also be used, and often is used, to describe ritual objects that are made in accordance with Jewish law and are fit for ritual use.”

In a General Description given on that same site:

“General Rules

Although the details of kashrut are extensive, the laws all derive from a few fairly simple, straightforward rules:

  1. Certain animals may not be eaten at all. This restriction includes the flesh, organs, eggs and milk of the forbidden animals.
  2. Of the animals that may be eaten, the birds and mammals must be killed in accordance with Jewish law.
  3. All blood must be drained from meat and poultry or broiled out of it before it is eaten.
  4. Certain parts of permitted animals may not be eaten.
  5. Fruits and vegetables are permitted, but must be inspected for bugs (which cannot be eaten)
  6. Meat (the flesh of birds and mammals) cannot be eaten with dairy. Fish, eggs, fruits, vegetables and grains can be eaten with either meat or dairy. (According to some views, fish may not be eaten with meat).
  7. Utensils (including pots and pans and other cooking surfaces) that have come into contact with meat may not be used with dairy, and vice versa. Utensils that have come into contact with non-kosher food may not be used with kosher food. This applies only where the contact occurred while the food was hot.
  8. Grape products made by non-Jews may not be eaten.
  9. There are a few other rules that are not universal.”

FRUM FOLLIES by Yerachmiel Lopin

OU Kosher Toilet Bowl Cleaner

Repost. First posted 3/29/15

Back in May 2014 I announced my Kosher Madness Contest on FaceBook

We now have kosher certifications on toilet paper, toilet bowl cleaner, and injectible life-saving medicines.

CHALLENGE: come up with the most absurd new terrain for a kosher certifying agency.

I never got around to announcing winners and forgot about the contest. But, now with Passover around the corner, I was reminded of this again when I saw a pesticide certified as kosher for Passover. Then there were the baby wipes because you can never start too soon or fail to cover every angle.

Kosher for Passover Pesticide Kosher for Passover Pesticide

I returned to the submissions and picked out my favorites, lightly editing the submissions and occasionally taking the liberty of adding in a detail of my own.

Here are some of my favorites in the order in which they were submitted. I came up with 18, an…

View original post 723 more words

2 thoughts on “From the Archives for Purim- New Insane Kosher Certifications – SATIRE, Introduction by LostMessiah

  1. The sleazeball ‘rabbis’ set up their own laws but disregard completely Judicial secular laws of the land they live in and walk on everyday .

    ChaBAD ‘rabbis’ made their own kosher for Passover law on fruits and vegetables .
    Only fruits and vegetables that can be peeled are kosher for Passover . Berries , like strawberries , blueberries , raspberries , persimons, grapes, eggplants, greenbeans and tomatoes are not kosher for Passover and cannot be used during the Passover week .

    How insane is that ?

    Liked by 1 person

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