Another Message to Eiruv Rav… And, well, Potty Training

EruvRav.2

Eiruv Rav Falsely Attributes Our Page to Someone on Facebook

LostMessiah, March 30, 2016

The fact that we find it completely ridiculous that toilet paper should be kosher seems to have really and truly irked someone over there. So much so, that they have decided that, if we don’t know about kosher toilet paper (or rather don’t support the fleecing of people who are already living below the poverty line), than we can’t be Jewish. We beg to differ.

We simply don’t hold to the same un-Torah-like convictions they do. Unlike those who go to repent on Yom Kippur so they can rape and pillage every other day of the year, we simply see things differently.  

And the toilet paper issue…. We stand by the position that kosher toilet paper is a scam to make the rabbis and kosher certification industry very rich.

We think that the only thing that makes the toilet paper kosher is that it is pre-cut so that on Shabbat, there is no need to rip something. In other words, it’s a marketing scheme. 

But we posted an advertisement below in case you don’t agree and need to purchase some. 

Here’s a little bathroom humor for you:

A quote from JEWCY.com, Kosher Toilet Paper??? by Hershy Fried/December 26, 2008

Like many of you, I thought this was a joke, unfortunately it is not. It seems that there is a whole economy based on the ridiculous modern day stringencies posed by Rabbinical authorities who in my view should be more worried about mikvah molestation scandals then whether or not someone wipes their ass with toilet paper or tissues on shabbat. The website hawking this product is a piece of work, it is reminiscent of latenight infomercials that try and convince you why you should purchase the Time Life best of hair metal 60 CD set. Marketing ploys like claiming how ass wiping never felt so kosher and product testers claims of how people will break shabbos if not for such a product, are abundant on the website selling shabbos bathroom tissue

http://www.kosherimage.com/e-mailings/sbt_announcement_3.html

www.frumsatire.net , Shabbos-toilet paper.

 

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Eruv Rav, Diversified Holding, the new owner of FailedMessiah.com

Now… it might be time, friends at Diversified or Eiruv Rav, to sh– or get off the pot…

4 thoughts on “Another Message to Eiruv Rav… And, well, Potty Training

  1. I agree with Steven. Please, take some time to imagine what life would have been like in the shtetl had our ancestors been forced to use treif toilet paper. Prior to the introduction of this miracle product, our ancestors had 2 anal canals. But once toilet paper got a hecksher, voila, they merged into just the 1 canal we know today.

    It’s a true fact that many pogroms were God’s way of telling Jews that they were violating His commandments by using treif toilet paper. Even using large leaves had issues – what if there was an insect (fleishig) on the leaf at the time?

    It is truly God’s blessing that we now have a hecksher on the toilet paper. I just wish it weren’t embossed on each sheet, because that hurts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. He’s another one of the US jews who go to live in the schwein-heim called Meah Shearim. Loving his Shitmar neighbours and hating the state. Another bearded wonder without intelligence,

    Like

  3. The product being sold is precut toilet paper.
    It’s perhaps called “kosher” – although I didn’t see the word “kosher” anywhere in the description – not because it doesn’t have animal fat etc in it, but because you don’t need to tear it on Shabbos, which most people do not allow. Sorry, but much ado about nothing here.

    Like

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